A Year and Some Months Later

I received a phone call this morning from the fertility clinic. A couple has decided that they would like to move forward with me. Would I like to participate? This cycle will be "easier" according to the nurse that called, as I won't have to do all the genetics testing and as much blood work. I've forgotten how much blood I lost during that period of my life.

They're sneaky, those fertility clinic people...they waited until I don't really remember the pain of recovery or the frustration of not being able to enjoy a stiff cocktail at the end of a long work day...not being able to get out of bed for a week, constipation, weight gain...ugh. Yet, I'm sitting here, considering it. I totally remember saying that I would NEVER EVER do it again while leaning out of bed, vomiting up the percocet I had taken 20 mins before.

The truth is, I feel guilty. This couple have probably tried everything they can to have a baby of their own, and this is most likely their last resort. Knowing that there's only a very tiny handful of Asian donors out there, I feel like I am obligated to give these people a chance to have a baby...or a few babies. All my friends are reminding me of how horrible recovery was last time. I know it was horrible, but I related it to childbirth - OBVIOUSLY not a fun experience but people do it again and again. I only have to suffer for about a month and a half and I'm done. I don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm an idiot.

Almost a Year Later

Wow. It's almost been a year...which means that if all went well, which I hope did, there is a baby or a couple of babies (depending on how many eggs took) out there from my eggs!! Shall I expect a knock on my door in 18 years from someone claiming to be my offspring? I really would like to see that movie, "The Kids Are Alright." I know it's about a sperm donor, but I think I might be able to relate.

The pain and discomfort is a distant memory - I remember it being awful, but I don't REALLY remember - I don't know if that makes sense. I suppose this is the sort of thing that makes mothers give birth again and again to babies...except they have it like a million times worse. If you asked if I'd do it again today, I'd say, "Hmmm, umm...no." If you asked me again in a couple of years, who knows? I sure like not having to inject myself in the belly every night though.

I hear IVF ads all the time on the radio and I chuckle to myself before changing the station. I hope there's a baby out there!! Or babies!!

A Little Better Today

Yesterday was not a good day, and I had a hard time falling asleep. I found a 10mg Valium pill in my bag of goodies from the clinic that I was supposed to take before the egg retrieval but forgot to, so I decided to test it out. It was amazing, as after about 20 minutes I could stand up straight and relaxed enough to fall asleep.

I woke up this morning, praying for a miracle. And I kind of got it! I rolled out of bed without any pain and nausea is gone! Excitedly I looked in the mirror to discover that I still had a huge belly and couldn't stand up straight, but I didn't need pain meds to walk! And...wait for it...I stood up for about 7 minutes to do the dishes! WOO HOO!!

I know, I get excited very easily these days.