A Year and Some Months Later

I received a phone call this morning from the fertility clinic. A couple has decided that they would like to move forward with me. Would I like to participate? This cycle will be "easier" according to the nurse that called, as I won't have to do all the genetics testing and as much blood work. I've forgotten how much blood I lost during that period of my life.

They're sneaky, those fertility clinic people...they waited until I don't really remember the pain of recovery or the frustration of not being able to enjoy a stiff cocktail at the end of a long work day...not being able to get out of bed for a week, constipation, weight gain...ugh. Yet, I'm sitting here, considering it. I totally remember saying that I would NEVER EVER do it again while leaning out of bed, vomiting up the percocet I had taken 20 mins before.

The truth is, I feel guilty. This couple have probably tried everything they can to have a baby of their own, and this is most likely their last resort. Knowing that there's only a very tiny handful of Asian donors out there, I feel like I am obligated to give these people a chance to have a baby...or a few babies. All my friends are reminding me of how horrible recovery was last time. I know it was horrible, but I related it to childbirth - OBVIOUSLY not a fun experience but people do it again and again. I only have to suffer for about a month and a half and I'm done. I don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm an idiot.